Just so we're clear.

Spiders are scary. They are evil, hairy, and they have more legs than my dog. Which is a problem for me. I don't know if you know this or not, but they can jump, they can fly, and they are most assuredly thirsty for blood. In particular, I mean my blood. It appears both the spiders and the mosquitos agree, I am quite tasty. Knowing all of this, I'd like to share a story about my day.

I was outside at "the beach" (aka the loading dock behind the warehouse) with my friend Jenny. She very casually, and not knowing I would have a panic attack, said, "Liz, I want you to turn around and casually observe the huge spider on the wall right there." Not even thinking, I turned and looked. It was fucking huge. It had to be about 3 feet across. I immediately screamed like a little bitch and ran back into the warehouse. And then I noticed that because the big door was open, everyone in production and receiving was staring at me. I felt like such an ass, I know my face turned purple and I said, "Uhhh.....there was a spider." and shuffled back to my desk. Good times.

My roomie also lost her phone today. That sucks really really bad for her, because we have no home phone. I changed my voice mail just in case any of her friends call me, cause I hate picking up the phone for people I don't know. Jenna said I was silly because I changed my message. Silliness I can deal with. Spiders? Not so much.









Oh, yeah, and just in case anybody ever thinks about playing any tricks on me that involve plastic spiders? I'm smarter than you and I will have my revenge.

My seeeester.

My little sister is the shit. I love her more than any human on the planet. She's kind of a douche, but that just makes her even more endearing. She's going to school in Youngstown, Ohio right now. It's a total party for her. And not ghetto at all. Anyways, the reason for this rant is I just read my sister's myspace profile (myspace.com/katiekins_2010) and I think she just might be the funniest person I know. Wait, the second funniest, but still my number 1 favorite human. Kate, I know you're gonna read this and yell at me for being retarded and blogging about you, but I am older, kinda wiser, and could definitely kick your ass, so I'm not scared. Love you dou. Why do I love Kate you might ask? If you are really so lazy that you haven't looked at her profile by this point in my blog, here's her about me section which is why she rocks:


i'm a myspace whore...it's true, i admit it. i check daily and there's no way around it. i'm living in seattle for the summer with my sister and her awesome roommate jenna. we have some pretty bomb times. i work at fusion beads and love it. everyone at the store is the shit. i'm ready to start as a RA in my sophomore year at YSU (penguins!!!!) and i major in pre-law and english but that might be changing. lol...my friends are pretty much my life. -------- things i like...hmmm...life, the yo, the internet, beads, good pillows, men with a good sense of humor, happiness, my siblings, candy apples, dark chocolate, chocolate brown clothing, old navy, the rack, television, sarcasm, video games, balloons, flowers, love chairs, boxer-briefs, christmas lights, trees, earrings, tattoos, movies, blenders, cheese, diet pepsi, jack daniels, art, music, vintage posters, the beach, the space needle, mountains, eric cartman, the words "douche" and "titties", journals, poetry, lips, carmex, theaters -------- things i hate...gum smacking, bad drivers, round-abouts, passive agressive people, psychologists, athens, the ridges, stupidity, caddy girls, slackers, push-overs, money, being disorganized, techno, southern twang, guns, broken fingernails, dirty clothes, stains

LOL, Kate, LOL.

Blog bloggity blog blog blog

My little sister seems to think that I have been lacking in my blogability. I actually had to go to church this morning and confess my sins. I said, "Forgive me, father, it has been 16 days since my last blog."
Unfortunately for y'all, I just worked for 13 and 1/2 hours, and I feel retarded. So you're just gonna have to take what you can get.
I think I said like 50 times in the last two weeks that I was going to blog about something. But I didn't. Because I'm lame. So here's some highlights (and who knows, maybe a couple of teasers):
The Precipice of Tar Tarnia
The Son of El Douche (I know, not as long, though.)
"That girl is louder than the fire alarm!" (Not really about me, but I decided it should be. That's probably what my teachers said about me behind my back, too.)

I like my blog. I hope you all like my blog. I will do my very best to update it more often. As you can see, I didn't stick to my resolution for very long. Typical. As my friend Dennis put it, though, "You had me at diphthong." Awesome.

What's that? A new blog?

Last night I had a party at my house. It was supposed to be for my friend Jenna's birthday, but she currently has the bubonic plague and had to go into hiding at her parent's house. We had a screamin good time. I was totally drunk and acted a fool. But not so drunk that I didn't make enough fajitas to feed an army. BUT....no army showed up. So to all of my friends (you know who you are) that did not show up, you are all dead to me. To my friends that did show up? Titties.