I am easily distracted

Yeah. How bout that?

My Eagle Ears

I don't know if you know this about me or not, but I have supersonic hearing. That's right, I can hear a pin drop from 5 miles. In fact, my hearing is so freaking good that I can hear you scoffing at this blog where you sit at your computer. It's true. Because this is my super power, I love to go to restaurants, or malls, or bars or whatever and just eavesdrop on whatever conversations I can. Mostly so I can laugh at how stupid people are. You better believe I mean STUPID, too.

I suppose I should explain the old "eagle ears" thing. I was at work and was accused of having "eagle ears" by Gwen because I heard her talking about me across the room. I think she meant to say "eagle eyes" but it was about my hearing and one thing just led to another. Long story short, I love Gwen for giving me this new saying to giggle over. You better watch the fuck out for my eagle ears, yo.

No. Shut. Up.

Oh my god. And just in case you didn't see the giant dog in the giant yellow rainslicker, it conveniently has a reflective strip down the middle. I almost peed over this.

Computers are funny.

Right now (and this is most definitely NOT the first time this has happened at my house) me, my roomie Jenna, and my friend Sarah (a.k.a. roomie #3) are all sitting in the living room playing with our respective laptops. It's kind of ridiculous, actually. When my little sister was here over the summer, sometimes Jenna and I would both be on yahoo messenger and talk about my sister and how she had no idea that we were totally talking IM smack about her. And she really had no idea. It's kind of funny to sit less than 10 feet away from someone and be chatting online. Everybody is so much funnier on IM, too. Seriously. Everybody is a comedian.

This is a picture of my sister eating nachos.





She loves it when I put this picture up. And yes, I know I'm going to be in a lot of trouble for the IM thing. But tonight, I'm feeling saucy. Sorry, Jenna.

The proverbial "dog's balls"

I used to have this friend named April in Columbus. She was a super funny girl with some really funny sayings. My personal favorite is when something is really really good, you say it's the dog's balls. For example, "My grandma's cookies are the dog's balls." It makes me laugh like 5 years later.
Last Saturday my friends Dan and Bryan and I decided to go over to Olympic National Forest. We decided to take the ferry, and naturally, since it was Saturday of Labor Day weekend, there was a little wait in line to get on the ferry. Like an hour and a half. At one point, we were behind this car and there was this ginormous dog, like cattle sized. He was super cute, maybe a Great Dane? Well, he started getting frisky in the car, so the owner got out to take him for a walk. We were just hanging out, eating some peanut m&m's. That fuckin dog had the hugest big floppy dog balls I have ever seen in my life. I yelled with shock, "Holy shit! That dog has huge floppy balls!!!!" and my friend Dan almost narfed a peanut m&m. It was seriously the funniest shit ever. The owner and the dog went for a little walkie, and when they came back to the car, Dan had the camera all set up with fast clickie sports settings, and frantically tried to get a picture of the dog's balls so I could post them with this blog. Mostly we ended up with pictures of chubby redneck guy's butt instead of the dog's balls. Titties.